I'm really dissapointed how much dA has changed, though maybe it's me. Today is the first time in about a month I've even gotten online. There just isn't very much interesting here. Too bad. I miss the excitement that dA used to hold, but for people like me (who have minimal talent, and a crap scanner), there isn't much here.

Hope nobody else feels this way, and that someone can convince me otherwise.

I am. NaNoWriMo is sucking, my novel is worse than crap and I'm 12k words behind. I've got homework to do instead of that too, so instead of there being a chance of writing 5k words sat. and sun. I'll be wishing i could write 3k. I'm so tired and just want to go to sleep, but if i dont write 1k tonight then I'll hate myself for it. None of my work got into my school's Lit Mag, despite the fact that I'm on the staff. The person I like happens to be the annoying static character in my NaNo novel who is the center of attention. The boyfriend happens to be, the boyfriend. And I'm demonizing him. Though in real life he isn't that bad. And if they ever manage to find something to fight about in between tongue hockey, I would feel bad for asking her out.

And this all comes down to: I can't speak loud. Nobody pays much attention to me because I don't talk much, and I don't talk much because my voice drones and is susceptible to being overdubbed, by oh say, the crinkling of paper.

If I were to die, maybe 20 people would be affected severely. No more than that.


...

Yes, well, at this moment 7 million japanese are marching on my house to set me aflame in chibi-fied madness. And yes, that was rather stereotypical. So shoot me.

And while Tokyo might be the heart of the anime craze, dA is still like...the kidneys. That's right, you're still a vital organ at the moment.

So I was up late last night flipping through the channels and Cartoon Network pops up. Now as we all know kids channels today are NOT what we remember growing up with (I'm 14 so YES I saw a bit 'o the oldies). They, with Nickelodeon in particular, have succumbed to the ratings gold mine of teeny dramatic lovey dovey
oh-lets-stick-a-bunch-of-15-year-olds-in-a-room-and-call-it-a-"middle school"
shows. Now, Cartoon Network is not yet entirely like this, but getting close.

ANYWAY....I turn CN on and some show called Prince of Tennis is on. Hey, me like tennis. Tennis on show. Me like show, right?

WRONG. Turns out to be THE EXACT SAME THING AS EVERY OTHER DAMN ANIME SHOW IN THE FRIGGIN WORLD. They just decided to stick a racquet in everyone's hand and paint the ground green.

You've got two girls wearing skirts sitting on the sidelines reciting everything that goes on, as if everybody in Tokyo is blind, while the boys stand down there in little groups going,
"oh my!"
"woah look at that!"
"somebody's gotta do something!"
"that guy's a jerk!"

Then theres the kid who is downright AMAZING at whatever the show's about, is the most attractive of the cast, says about 6 words every episode (and grunts the rest of the time), and manages NOT to go crazy from the lack of sociable contact.

And then when the whiney characters lose at something and mr. silent-amazing steps in, he decides not to tell anybody his plan at killing/beating/showing up/stopping WHOEVER and then they sit there on the sideline and go....OH I GET IT...see...he's....

And apparently, Japanese animators think that if everybody in America lined up, they would create the color spectum.

Yeah, we actually carry around bottles of dye in our pockets for whenever our mood changes, and all we need is water and a mirror and POOF, we have lime green hair! TA DA DA DAA!!

NEWSFLASH YOU IDIOTS. PEOPLE HERE HAVE NORMAL COLORED HAIR TOO.

Then, according to these amazing CG experts, their parents fork over 6 trillion dollars to send them over to Japan and give them language lessons so that they can read all the signs. Then they run around slaying things or sailing ships or throwing ninja starrs or SMACKING TENNIS BALLS.

So, either Japanese animators need to find some fresh new IDEAS (AND character structures, AND scenary, AND plot progression), or everybody in the US needs to go get some ink, stick it in their hair, go to a shop, buy a sword, get on a plane (don't forget to pick up a RosettaStone DVD at the gift shop for the flight now), bound for Japan to work under some all powerful master and slay things while still managing to pick up ditzy girls with vibrantly pink highlights who can't string together eleven thoughtful sentences into...dare I say it....

A MONOLOGUE.


Please direct all banter discussing how I am a complete dumbshit and know nothing to the comment box below, though cut out any swearing because it really takes away from the argument.

~RBW

I made the Literary Magazine staff at my school!!!! Next year I'll get to enter contests for money, rate other people's work, and help with our magazine! I can't believe i won! Everybody be happy!!!

So I've been kinda sad for about a day or two, and I decided to take a page out of the National Wrist-Slitting Society's book and write about it and bitch to the world so I feel better. Like the title says, don't feel implored to read this. Actually, I don't suggest you do unless you are so happy that they haven't made an english adverb for it yet. And here we go.

Why am I this way right now? Well, one literal person would say, "well, you won't stop bitching about going to the school play again, so this must be about that".

Well, no. But Beauty and the Beast WAS great last night.

It started with the realization that, yes, I have NO plans this weekend. Others are going to the play tonight, in their little groups. Having fun. While others stay home. Which is why I hate summer, because you feel like you're missing out on what everybody else is doing.

Second realization?

Groups. Yes, I'm in a clicque. Thing is, they do nothing. They plan nothing. My old group didn't respect me, so I went to them. Nice people, sometimes a little weird as I get kinda shoved off to the edge for a bit, but fine. And when by some act of God something does get planned, ITS A SLEEPOVER. Mostly girls, people. Not good politics there.

My third realization:

People at my school are so worried about the present. Their horizon of thinking stretchs about 4 hours into the future. I very much doubt my fellow freshmans have given any thought to after college.

My fourth:

Fact is the farthest north that I've ever been in the world is NH. The farthest south the Caymans. East, NH again. West, Central California. I have only crossed this country's border 3 TIMES. My little world consists of this pathetic city that is trying to be a "world-class city), with no sucess, and is stuck on the border of Redneck Country where people can't drive and saying "you all" is reason enough to stoned, all while Virgina sits up there as that "halfway state", where people are least moderately competent and have some type of Nothern style to them.
And while we're here, the fact is that THE WORLD DOES NOT REVOLVE AROUND NC. Most people in the West don't even know our capital. The only good thing is the weather, but even that has a sick day and dumps crap on us.

My Fifth and final:

I will NOT make a dent in history. Not even one of those little eraser marks that sticks to the paper and stays there no matter what you do to try and get rid of it because you're turning this in and the paper needs to be neat because you're teacher is super anal about these things.
I die in about 65 years and you can bet that I won't be in any type of book. If for some chance I go I'll be part of "the people", who never win anything. I try my hardest to think up things like ideas for groundbreaking stories or subjects for art that I might actually be able to accomplish, but I can never find anything, and this just might be psychological development in my teenage mind as my brain starts making more and more neuron connections and I'm just like every other "revolutionary thinker". My goal: to be at lease moderately remembered for one work.

Well, thats as good of a rant and I could organize and type.